Our expert columnist on the power of moral support
updated on Oct 16, 2024
Discover how impactful this often underestimated tool can be, and ways you can ensure that you show up in someone’s corner
In today’s fast-paced world, we often prioritise physical health and tangible resources. Yet, when life throws us curveballs, it’s the quiet strength of moral support that can truly make a difference.
In my 20s, I went through a health scare, and while frequent hospital appointments weren’t exactly ‘fun outings’, the simple act of having family members or close friends offer to accompany me meant the world. We would turn these stressful visits into opportunities to connect, often grabbing a coffee or lunch afterwards. It wasn’t just about them being physically present, but about showing their emotional and moral support.
As I’ve grown older and more independent, the frequency of offered support seems to have dwindled. However, one instance stands out in my memory. During a scorching heatwave, and stressed out with a looming deadline, a client surprised me with an iced coffee! This seemingly simple gesture was a powerful reminder that someone was thinking of me; a small act of kindness that I still remember years later.
Moral support goes beyond asking “How are you?” It’s about being a steady presence during life’s storms, acknowledging someone’s struggles, and offering a safe space for them to express their anxieties and fears. It’s about stepping outside of yourself and offering a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, or a helping hand.
The art of active listening
Often, the best way to offer moral support is to simply be a good listener. This means putting away distractions, fully tuning into their words and silences, and letting them know that you are truly there for them. Here are some ways to actively listen:
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Maintain eye contact and offer non-verbal cues like a nod or a gentle hand on their shoulder.
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Avoid interrupting or contributing unsolicited advice. Sometimes, people just need to vent without being offered a solution.
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Ask open-ended questions that encourage them to express their feelings.
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Reflect on what they have said to ensure you understand their perspective.
Tailoring your support
Not everyone expresses their needs in the same way. Some people appreciate distractions and light-hearted conversations, while others crave quiet companionship during a difficult time. In order to best understand this, you can simply ask. Alternatively, pay attention to the person in question’s cues and offer support in a way that feels comfortable for them. In practical terms, this might look like:
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For the person who needs a distraction: Offer to watch a funny movie, or take them for a walk in nature.
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For the person who needs quiet company: Sit with them in silence, offering a hot drink and a safe space for them to explore their emotions.
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For the person who needs practical help: Offer to run errands, cook a meal, or help with childcare.
A few other key considerations include:
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Respecting boundaries: While moral support is important, it’s equally crucial to respect boundaries. Don’t be pushy or intrusive. If someone seems overwhelmed by your attempts to help, give them space, but let them know you’re still there for them if needed.
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Small gestures can have a big impact: Moral support doesn’t require grand gestures. A thoughtful text or phone call to check in on how they are doing, a care package of their favourite snacks, a bouquet of flowers, or even a handwritten note expressing your care, can make a big difference to a family member or friend’s wellbeing. Feeling like you’re not alone in whatever you’re going through – whether that’s a stressful health situation, upheaval in your personal life, or embarking on a new adventure – can be invaluable.
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Creating a ripple effect: By offering authentic and compassionate moral support, we contribute to a ripple effect of kindness. This simple act can not only uplift those in need, but also foster a stronger sense of community and connection. So starting that chain reaction can only be a positive – you never know how far your positive impact could reach.
Moral support strengthens our emotional resilience. It shows those we care about that they are not alone, and that someone is there to catch them if they fall. Through the hard times and the good, knowing that you have a cheerleader, someone to turn to, someone who cares about you regardless of what is going on, shouldn’t be underestimated. So, the next time you see someone struggling, consider offering a hand, a listening ear, or even just a cup of coffee. You might be surprised at the profound impact that simply your presence can have.