Feeling overexposed? It could be the spotlight effect...

Come backstage on the psychological phenomenon that convinces people that all eyes are on them

Do you often feel the eyes of other people as you go about your day? You trip slightly on the pavement, or muddle up your words when you order something, or you get home and notice your hair was doing that weird thing it does – and you feel rising anxiety as your mind grapples with what people must have thought of you.

The reality is, most people (if any at all) didn’t see a thing. They were too busy living their own lives – and worrying about what other people were thinking about them. Enter: The spotlight effect, a psychological phenomenon where we tend to believe that people notice us more than they actually do. The term was coined by psychologist Thomas Gilovich and colleagues in the late 1990s, but it had already been investigated before, just without the catchy name.

In 1980, researchers Kleck and Strenta gave volunteers realistic makeup to make it look like they had a scar on their face. Then, just before sending them to talk with another person, the researchers removed the scar while pretending to apply protective cream. After talking with the other people, the volunteers said that they believed the other person acted differently towards them because of the scar – but, in reality, there was no scar, and the differences the volunteers noticed came from their own self-consciousness and them assuming others were focused on their appearance.

The spotlight effect is prevalent in many people’s day-to-day lives, and much of this might feel familiar already. “Many of us experience the spotlight effect due to a combination of how our attention naturally works, how the nervous system responds to perceived threat, and the influence of past experiences,” explains counsellor Novena-Chanel Davies. “At its core, the spotlight effect is rooted in how we experience ourselves, rather than how others actually see us.” Novena-Chanel goes on to note how, as human beings, we naturally live within our own internal worlds – that is, our thoughts, emotions, and bodily sensations – which can make our own behaviour feel more visible than it is to others.

“From a nervous system perspective, this can also be understood through something called neuroception, the body’s automatic way of scanning for safety or threat, often outside of our conscious awareness,” she adds. “When someone is feeling anxious, under pressure, or has grown up in environments where they were judged, criticised, or had to be highly aware of how they were perceived, their system can become more sensitive to potential social threat. So rather than simply ‘overthinking’, this is often a protective response shaped by past experiences, social context, and present emotional state.”

Novena-Chanel goes on to highlight some other ways we can experience the spotlight effect. For example, someone who walks into a room or along a busy street, particularly if they grew up in an environment where they were closely observed or criticised, may find their internal dialogue saying, ‘Everyone’s looking at me, don’t make a mistake.’ And another example might be sitting in a restaurant and suddenly becoming very aware of how you are eating or being perceived after you notice someone briefly glancing in your direction.

But while it’s a perfectly natural and common experience, it can still be a difficult thing to handle. It can fuel social anxiety and lead us into thought spirals and rumination. “For those with visible or invisible differences or disabilities, there can often be a heightened awareness of being perceived. This includes individuals who are neurodivergent, such as those with ADHD or autism, where there may also be real experiences of having been misunderstood,” explains Novena-Chanel.

So, how can we address it? “Firstly, it is important to understand that this is a very human experience, and often a sign that your system is trying to keep you safe,” Novena-Chanel says. “Rather than criticising yourself, it can be helpful to approach it with curiosity. Some supportive approaches include: Gently noticing and naming the experience, for example, ‘I’m feeling very aware of myself right now’; reality-checking your thoughts, asking, ‘What do I think others are noticing, and what evidence do I have for and against this?’; and trying to strengthen a reassuring internal dialogue, using simple phrases such as, ‘I am safe’ or ‘I am well’ to help settle the nervous system in the moment.”

She also recommends playful reframing, where appropriate, to soften self-critical thinking. For example, ‘Why wouldn’t people be glancing at me? I look put together today.’ Also, it can be helpful to tune into the rest of the world. How many people are focused on their phones, conversations, or thoughts rather than on you?

“Over time, as the nervous system begins to experience more moments of safety in social situations, the intensity of the spotlight effect often reduces,” Novena-Chanel says. “If the experience feels persistent or significantly impacts daily life, it can be helpful to seek support. Cognitive and behavioural approaches can help with thought patterns, while relational and trauma-informed approaches can support deeper exploration of how these experiences have developed.”

No one wants to feel like they’re living life under the spotlight, with every little fumble being lit up for the world to see. And while the reality is that our own perceived errors are so much more obvious to ourselves than to others, there’s no denying the prevalence of this shared phenomenon. That said, with awareness and understanding – and, for some, longer-term support – we can learn to flick the switch on the spotlight effect.