7 compelling ways to vanquish feelings of jealousy, for good

Bonnie Evie Gifford
By Bonnie Evie Gifford,
updated on Feb 3, 2023

7 compelling ways to vanquish feelings of jealousy, for good

Looking for simple, quick, and effective tips for tackle the green-eyed monster? Here are seven ways you can conquer feelings of jealousy for good

Jealousy is rarely a good look on anyone. Whether you’re feeling jealous of a friend’s latest holiday, a family member’s good news, or even a colleague’s promotion, a little bit of jealousy can motivate us. But when we feel it too much or too often, it can risk hurting our relationships and damaging our wellbeing.

So, how can we overcome jealousy?

1. Try self-help

Learning how to recognise, acknowledge, and tackle unhelpful feelings can be daunting. But being able to identify jealousy is the first step towards confronting why you are feeling this way, and finding healthier ways to process these thoughts and feelings.

Often caused by fear, low self-esteem, or insecurity, it’s important to remember that feeling jealous doesn’t make you a bad person. Speaking to someone you trust can help you to work through these difficult feelings, as well as reframe things in a different light.

Acknowledging how you are feeling can help you to address the elephant in the room, leading to self-reflection and opening the way for personal growth.

2. Practise gratitude

Gratitude isn’t just about being polite. It’s about noticing the good things in life and showing genuine appreciation for them. When people regularly practise gratitude through reflection and expression, many find that they experience more positive emotions, see improvements in their sleep patterns, and even develop higher levels of self-esteem.

Practising gratitude can help to alleviate stress, reduce feelings of jealousy, and help us to appreciate the things that we have, instead of focusing on what others have.

3. Be aware in the moment (and take a break)

When you next feel jealousy rising, take a moment to stop and acknowledge how you are feeling. Instead of reacting, or allowing these feelings to fester, step away from the situation and allow yourself to take a break.

Try going on a short walk or taking 10 minutes to do something else you find calming, like listening to music or making a hot drink. Or try writing down how you are feeling, then leaving it to come back to later. Readdressing these thoughts and feelings when you are calmer can help you to view them more rationally, allowing you to work through them without the risk of saying or doing something you may later regret.

4. Consider talking therapy

Counselling can be a helpful method of working through jealousy. A qualified, experienced therapist can provide a safe space to explore feelings, challenge unhelpful thoughts, and discover new ways of moving forward.

Cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT) can help you to better understand your feelings, recognise and break negative thought patterns, and discover new, healthier ways of reacting. Another helpful option can be cognitive analytical therapy (CAT). This can help you both challenge and change negative thought patterns, as well as look at past experiences, helping you to understand why you think or behave this way.

5. Practise mindfulness

Mindfulness is all about being aware of our thoughts, feelings, environment, and how our body feels without offering judgement or criticism. Allow yourself to feel and acknowledge jealousy. Increase your awareness of when these feelings rise. Soon, you will start to notice any patterns or common triggers that you can go on to address.

6. Work with a hypnotherapist

Hypnotherapy can help to reduce and even get rid of feelings of anxiety, fear, and low self-confidence, as well as help to boost self-esteem – all of which can be key contributing factors to jealousy. Your hypnotherapist can help you identify and tackle these root causes, allowing you to better understand what you are feeling, why you are feeling this way, and how you can move forward. They may also introduce you to self-hypnosis techniques.

7. Give it time

It’s only natural to want ‘negative’ thoughts and feelings to go away. But, sometimes, we need to give things time to fade. According to research, we’re more likely to feel jealous before something happens, rather than during or after. While you might feel jealous of your friend’s big holiday plans right now, once they’ve set off, you might start to feel less jealous, and actually happy for them, instead.

If you are struggling with feelings of jealousy and would like some support, visit the Therapy Directory or speak to a qualified counsellor.

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