50 questions to build emotional intimacy

Settle down with your partner and take turns asking and answering these questions to help deepen your connection

Our romantic relationships are some of the most important in our lives, bringing us joy, comfort and support. Building emotional intimacy strengthens these bonds even further, deepening your connection and your understanding of each others’ wants, needs, and desires.

To help you along the way, we’ve gathered together 50 questions that help you build emotional intimacy. Set aside some time when you both feel relaxed, and take it in turns to ask and answer each of these questions. You may be surprised at what you discover…

1. What do you think your younger self would think of our relationship?

2. What have you learned about relationships from your parents?

3. When was the last time you cried?

4. Have your friendships taught you anything about romantic relationships?

5. What does ‘work-life balance’ mean to you?

6. What was the most surprising thing you learned about me?

7. When was the last time you laughed so much you cried?

8. Has your relationship taught you anything about yourself?

9. In what ways do you think we’re similar?

10. In what ways do you think we’re different?

11. What did you want to be when you were a child?

12. In what ways do you think we’ve evolved as a couple?

13. When have you felt most proud of me?

14. What have I taught you?

15. What makes you feel confident?

16. Have there been any challenges in our relationship?

17. If we could travel anywhere together, where would we go?

18. What’s your most treasured childhood memory?

19. What book, film, or TV show has had the greatest impact on you?

20. What is your biggest fear?

21. How do you think you express love for me?

22. What was your favourite toy growing up?

23. What excites you the most about life?

24. What is your favourite characteristic about yourself?

25. How important is a physical connection to you?

26. What do you think is the most interesting fact about me?

27. How would you define ‘success’?

28. Where do you see yourself in five years?

29. What’s your favourite way to relax?

30. How often do you reflect on the past?

31. What do you think are the signs of a healthy relationship?

32. Do you think we have the same values? How do we differ?

33. Where do you feel most comfortable?

34. What is your favourite thing to do together?

35. What song is the soundtrack to your life?

36. Do you have a favourite photograph of the two of us?

37. Is there something new you want to try together?

38. If you could relive one day with me, which would it be?

39. Are you able to tell when I’m upset? How?

40. What value do you admire most about me?

41. Do you enjoy spending time in nature? Why?

42. Is affection in a relationship important to you? In what ways?

43. What’s the most loving thing I’ve done for you?

44. When you’re feeling stressed, what’s the best thing I can do for you?

45. What’s the best gift I’ve given you?

46. Is there a song that reminds you of me?

47. Do you enjoy alone time? Why?

48. What’s the most supportive thing I’ve done for you?

49. How important is family to you?

50. What do you think is the key to a happy, healthy relationship?

Ready for round two? Try 50 more questions to build emotional intimacy

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