Is Now the Time to Get to Know Yourself?

Lucy Donoughue
By Lucy Donoughue,
updated on Apr 7, 2020

Is Now the Time to Get to Know Yourself?

In so many ways, our lives are currently on lock-down. For our safety, and the safety of others, we’re having to drastically change the way we do things. But, as is so often the case in difficult times, the key to getting through this may be found by looking inwards. Can getting to know ourselves better teach us how to cope with today’s challenges? Behavioural Change Life Coach Angela Cox chats about tuning in in hard times

Life Coach Angela Cox, like everyone, has been impacted by the coronavirus outbreak, as she explains on I am.I have. Her husband’s contract has changed, both their children are being schooled at home and she’s had to temporarily close her London clinic.

However, she reflects, the current situation has opened up some opportunities for her family to spend extended time together, and find new ways of being within the current restrictions. “I have to say that although the lockdown is challenging and I’ve been through the change curve about a hundred times in the past few days, the sense of togetherness that we’ve got as a family, that we don’t always experience because we’re so busy, feels wonderful,” she shares.

Change, and managing continual change is a recurring theme throughout the podcast and Angela explains what the change curve is and how it applies to the situation we all find ourselves in. “We experience the change curve day after day in our daily lives,” Angela says, noting that in usual circumstances we might move through this process relatively quickly.

However, she shares, with the back to back official announcements over movement, health and social distancing over the past few weeks, we are collectively starting the change curve over and over again.


The Change Curve

“The first phase is the denial phase - think back to when a lot of us were down playing what was happening. The next phase is what I call the ‘throwing our toys out of the pram’ stage - the shock hits - and some of our behaviours might not be what we’d want them to be, and this is where we see stockpiling and flaring of tempers.

“The next stage is moving into what’s called ‘depression’. This is where we see some of the anxiety coming through, feeling low, helpless, frozen and in fear.

But what’s wonderful is that this doesn't last forever.

“But what’s wonderful is that this doesn't last forever and we start to come up the other side of the curve into understanding what’s going on, we get more information and clarity which allows us to move to the acceptance stage. Once we accept what’s happening as our new normal we actually then move through to moving on, and it becomes ok.

“The challenge we all face at the moment is that we go from stage one of the change curve to the very end, what feels like everyday, but the thing to know is that we’re all going through it together.”

Angela’s role as a Life Coach, she says, has changed too. “I usually work with people to make them even more successful than they already are but at times like this, I think we need to take a pause on that and actually help people to understand what they’re feeling, what they're experiencing and what that all means. So that’s where I am focusing my time.”

She is keen to help others find their route through what is a very unprecedented period for our generation. “At the moment my work is about helping people manage their emotional reactions, the fears that are coming in around their personal security and helping people to take logical action to get out of a ‘freeze’ mode and start moving forward,” Angela explains.

“Life Coaches are there for that as much as they are for planning for the future. But what I would say is definitely use something like the Life Coach Directory, if you’re looking. It’s important that if you’re reaching out for help, that you get the right person.”

Listen to Angela’s podcast in full, and hear what she has to say about checking in with yourself, how your children learn from your behaviour, scenario planning and how havening can help you.

Find out more about Angela Cox

Angela has offered Happiful readers a 50% discount on The Happy Path Journal for children, simply use the code Happy50 at the checkout.

Article updated 03/04/2020

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