Breaking down decision making with life coach David Rendle

From everyday dilemmas to life-changing choices, learning how to quieten self-doubt and trust your judgement can make decision-making feel less overwhelming

Why do I find it so hard to make even small decisions?

Many of us spend so much time weighing up every possible outcome that even simple decisions can feel overwhelming. This is sometimes called ‘analysis paralysis’ – when thinking about a decision becomes a substitute for making it. The search for the perfect answer can leave you feeling stuck and increase your levels of anxiety.

Instead of aiming for certainty, ask yourself whether you have enough information to make a sensible decision. It’s also worth considering whether you’re genuinely exploring your options or simply ruminating.

Remember that most decisions don’t have one perfect outcome. Choosing an option that’s ‘good enough’ is often a lot more helpful than waiting for complete and utter certainty. If you’re still unsure, imagine what advice you would give a friend who is in the same situation – it can help you see things from a fresh perspective.

How can I stop overthinking when I need to make an important decision?

Overthinking is often driven less by a lack of information and more by a fear of making the wrong choice. While it’s sensible to think decisions through, there comes a point where gathering more information simply delays taking action.

Give yourself a realistic deadline and, if it helps, share it with someone you trust for accountability. If the decision still feels overwhelming, I suggest breaking it into smaller steps and focusing on what you realistically can do today.

Interrogate whether you fears are based in evidence or worst-case scenarios. Looking back, many of the things we worry about never happen, and even if things don’t go exactly to plan, most of us are more adaptable than we first realise.

What’s the best way to make decisions that align with my values?

When a decision feels difficult, it can help to step back and ask yourself what really matters to you. Your values are the beliefs and principles that shape your priorities and guide the way you live your life. Decisions that reflect those values are often the ones we feel most comfortable with in the long term.

If you’re not sure what your core values are, reflect on the qualities that matter most to you, such as honesty, family, kindness, or creativity. You could also ask someone who knows you well how they would describe you at your best.

When faced with a choice, ask which option is most consistent with the person you want to be. Choosing in line with your values can help reduce self-doubt and build confidence in your decisions.

How do I stop dwelling on the ‘what ifs’ after I’ve made a choice?

It’s natural to wonder whether a different decision might have led to a better outcome, but it’s impossible to know what would have happened if you’d chosen another path. Hindsight can make the alternative seem more appealing than it really was.

Instead, remind yourself that a good decision is one made thoughtfully, using the information available at the time. Every choice means letting go of other possibilities, and that’s a normal part of life.

When doubts creep in, shift your focus from ‘What if?’ to ‘What now?’ Ask yourself what you can influence today and what small steps will help you move forward. Confidence comes not from making perfect decisions, but from trusting yourself to adapt in response to whatever happens.

What can I do if I feel stuck between staying in my comfort zone and taking a risk?

Feeling uncomfortable when you’re making an important decision is completely normal. It doesn’t necessarily mean you’re making the wrong choice – it often means the decision matters to you.

Rather than trying to eliminate uncertainty, accept that some level of risk is part of growth. Ask yourself what the realistic consequences are if things don’t go to plan, and weigh those against the potential benefits of taking action. Our minds naturally focus on worst-case scenarios, but those outcomes are often less likely than we might imagine.

If you’re struggling, think about what advice you’d give a close friend. Taking a balanced view can help put your worries into perspective and make it easier to move forward.