Spot the symptoms of social isolation, and recognise when withdrawing is affecting your wellbeing
We all have moments when we just want to be alone. Life pressures can leave us wanting to slam the front door, and keep it shut for the foreseeable. However, when we withdraw completely from others, for an extended period, it’s time to look at why.
Naturally, some people require time and space in their own company to replenish their energy reserves, but for introverts this is a temporary technique that stems from positive recognition of their own needs and boundaries. On the other hand, constantly withdrawing from social situations, especially if it is out of character, can be a sign that something is wrong, whether it’s for you or someone you know.
A key way to differentiate between the two is the motivation. Introverts need solitude to recharge, and doing so can leave them feeling calm and content. Social isolation comes from a place of withdrawal, often with associated emotions of sadness, emptiness, and loneliness.
Social isolation can also be a sign of a mental health problem or illness, and, what can be particularly tricky is the cycle this creates where, if you already live with a mental illness, it can worsen conditions, and even be the cause of a relapse.
“Lack of contact with loved ones or not engaging in fun activities can prevent the individual from being able to get out of their head a little, or to offload their thoughts and concerns – thus, having more time to overthink and ruminate,” integrative psychotherapist Sedef Salim explains. “They can then fall into a vicious cycle of the more they isolate themselves, the more they may become stressed, which can lead to an increase in low mood, depression, and anxiety.”
What are the symptoms of social isolation?
Feeling exhausted, or overwhelmed, and needing a night in is completely understandable, but this is why we need to pay attention to when this withdrawal escalates, as it can be easy to brush off and miss the bigger picture.
Feeling like a burden can be a reason for withdrawing from others. You might start getting the sense you’re an outsider, or like no one truly sees the real you. You might not remember the last time you had a meaningful conversation with someone. You can start to feel hopeless, and become preoccupied with what others think of you. All of these experiences feed into wanting to distance yourself from others even more.
“Falling into a vicious cycle of the more withdrawn you have become, the less motivated or more anxious you feel to re-engage in social events,” says Sedef. “You choose to continue avoiding these situations, because the very thought of re-engaging after so long now fills you with fear and anxiety.”
It’s not only our mental health which suffers, but our physical health, too. Anxiety can create panic, which can increase muscle tension, and cause digestive problems. Symptoms also include irritability, lethargy, insomnia, and poor self-care. Social isolation increases your risk of cardiovascular disease, and, in some cases, can lead to suicide ideation. A 2022 literature review, published in European Psychiatry, found a “causal relationship between social isolation and suicide, and conversely, a protective effect of social support against suicide”. Social isolation is not to be taken lightly.
Who is most at risk of social isolation?
Social isolation might start with anxiety and a need to be alone, avoiding spending time with friends and attending social events.This can also be a sign of depression – withdrawing from others, and no longer enjoying activities and time spent with other people. People who experience psychosis are also more likely to socially isolate themselves, because of the fear of going out in public with the condition, or of what others may think of them.
An important note is that anyone can be at risk of becoming socially isolated – a person could be in a relationship, or have solid friendship groups, good family connections, and still begin to withdraw themselves from others.
Alongside mental health conditions, a few factors can increase the likelihood of falling victim to social isolation. As we age, our social groups can get smaller – whether due to retirement, loved ones moving away, or a lack of mobility meaning it’s difficult to get out as much. In turn, those with disabilities may find that a lack of accessibility prevents them from engaging in certain social spaces, and marginalised groups may find that discrimination and stigma creates barriers, too.
How can you overcome social isolation?
Sedef encourages us to take stock of the how, and why. “A good place to start might be to check-in with yourself in terms of why you have withdrawn from social situations. Is this normal behaviour for you, or has something triggered this change in behaviour? Acknowledging what may be happening beneath the surface can influence your first step to making your way back.”
Understanding our behaviours and what caused them in the first place is a good place to begin. Attending therapy can help us delve further, and really get to grips with why we engage in these behaviours. Even if it’s online, connecting with another individual on a regular basis can be a positive first step toward engaging with other people, and going out into the world.
Another way of reconnecting with people, without the pressure of explaining why you’ve been MIA, could be spending time with others due to mutual interests. You could try joining a sports or hobby club – anything from video gaming or crafting, to wild swimming or a book club. At first, it can feel daunting to put yourself back out there, but having a shared interest or common goal can make it much easier to make meaningful connections.
“The first step can be hard, especially if you are experiencing depression and low mood, however, this is why exercise or changing your environment is encouraged, as moving your body will manipulate your endorphins, dopamine levels, and these will elevate your mood – but it takes that first brave step to re-emerge into your life,” Sedef says.
Social isolation is often led by fear, with worries and anxieties that are usually unfounded. Here are some of the most common concerns, and how you can respond to them...
“I need to be perfect around other people.” Don’t worry if you’ve stumbled over a word, or lost your train of thought. We all do it – and odds are, the person you’re interacting with has the same worries as well.
“No one wants to spend time with me.” What we tell ourselves often doesn’t reflect reality. It’s important we look at why we feel this way about ourselves, challenge the negativity, and engage in positive self-talk.
Looking forward, NHS England has started trials using virtual reality (VR) to help patients manage social isolation by immersing themselves in public places, alongside CBT therapy to talk through their experiences.
Social isolation can become pervasive, invade our lives and take over completely. But there are strategies which can bring us back to real life. A life where you have a support network you know you can turn to.
