Learn how to sidestep those dodgy digital honeytraps
If you’ve been single these last few years, you will know the dating game has got a lot more complex. Dating websites now seem a dim and distant memory, while “speed dating” nights down at your local pub feel positively prehistoric. Today, it’s all about social engagement – which can quickly turn to public mortification with a single, misplaced <3 . Fear not, solo traveller, while we can't prevent broken hearts, happiful can help you navigate your way through the jargon and understand the psychology behind the person you're dating:
1. Benching
You’ve been on a couple of dates and things are going well – or so you thought. They seem to like you, but they aren’t making any moves to take things up a level. What’s going on? Well, you’re probably being “benched”, meaning your date has got someone else on the horizon and is yet to make a final decision. It’s not a dead cert, but you could soon be left on the bench while they search the field for a better partner.
Get out of there – don’t be anybody’s second-best option.
2. Zombieing
An old relationship fizzled out months (or even years) ago, but now the person is starting to pop up again on your social feeds. They’re liking your posts, sending you cute messages out of the blue, perhaps even accidentally-on-purpose “bumping” into you. Then, after shuffling around like the undead, they pop the question – “Wanna get a drink?” What should you do? Sometimes it’s best to be blunt. Ask what their true intentions are, and why now. If they hurt you before, be wary. But, if things ended on good terms, consider giving it another go.
Be honest about how you really feel – the decision is yours.
For some people, the chase is what keeps these people interested. Then, as soon as you bite, they're out of there quicker than you can say "commitment"
3. Cushioning
So, you got “benched” a few months ago. Then a “zombie” slithered back into your life. Now they throw a bit of flirtation your way, and know just the level of conversation to keep you interested but they never actually ask you out. What’s the story? Simply put, this person hates being alone. They’re going from person to person, relationship to relationship, trying a bit of benching, doing a spot of zombieing, but keeping it PG with you so that their current partner can’t lose their rag if they ever find out – but you’re still around to “cushion” the blow if the relationship falls apart.
Don’t trust them. If they’ve done it before, they’ll do it again.
4. Catch & Release
You’ve seen someone a few times and it’s clear they’re trying to impress, so naturally you’ve developed a soft spot for them. Dare we say it, you might actually have feelings for them. Only now they’ve gone all distant and quiet. What gives? For some people, the chase is what keeps these people interested. Then, as soon as you bite, they’re out of there quicker than you can say “commitment”.
Don’t be messed around – find someone who really wants you.
5. Throwback Dating
Finally, one dating trend we actually quite like the sound of! Maybe there’s someone from your past that’s never quite left your heart (or mind), or you fancy taking dating back to basics – by going mobile-free. There are no hard and fast rules to the throwback dating trend. It’s nostalgic, it’s real fun, and it makes you feel young.
Our advice? Give it a whirl.
